I wrote yesterday about how we as a population generally have become obese and now are reliant upon drugs to help us lose weight and how the diet industry hasn’t helped people either. Today, I want to write about some of the psychological reasons behind my overeating.
I have written before about addiction, and I know for some people food is an addiction. I have seen how some people literally eat endlessly because of that addiction. I am in no way judging them but that is not my experience and so I am not going to write about that today. I think my previous blog covers addiction generally so if anyone is reading this with that issue in their life, please refer back to the previous blog.
There are also real reasons of problems caused by a prolonged period of being stuck in ‘fight, flight or freeze’ mode. Once the initial bodily response has been exhausted and the stress trigger is still remaining, the body turns to other means to keep the nervous system going. One of those is flooding the body with cortisol. Two things are happening here – the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response is already playing havoc with your digestive system, ensuring that it isn’t functioning properly, and cortisol helps the body to retain fat. I know that this is one of the reasons for my weight gain. I have, essentially, been in ‘fight, flight or freeze’ mode for a very long time. Years. And while it has eased somewhat now, it is still problematic for me on occasion.
In order to keep your depleted system going, you are attracted to sweet foods for the immediate energy kick they give. Then you are attracted to more once that huge spike has dropped. And so on and so forth. Combined with your body retaining fat, eating unhealthy foods is not helping your weight. At all. In the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ mode, you are also unlikely to be thinking entirely clearly so the notion of forward planning your meals and batch-cooking is likely to be completely overwhelming. You’re tired enough as it is because of the stress and the additional weight you are carrying, the last thing you feel like doing is batch-cooking for the week and thinking about all that entails. Trust me, I know. I am there. I don’t turn to alcohol when I am stressed. I no longer turn to cigarettes when I am stressed. But I have always had that one friend who has been around – food. That is my stress-reliever of choice. Preferably things that are salty such as crisps and something sweet like chocolate. They are my snacks of choice.
I do also suffer hugely from food noise. I have a fear of not having sufficient food in the house likely based from my teenage years when we had insufficient money at times for food. I remember distinctly times when the only food in the fridge was eggs and the rest of the shelves were empty other than a bottle of milk. The cupboards weren’t much better. And I have experienced that again in my adult life, over the last few years, when food has been frankly scarce at times. A few nights where my husband and I didn’t eat at all because, simply, there was no food. Luckily our son was with my parents. So, yes, I have a dread of empty fridges and empty cupboards because I have lived them. It means I have a fear of being hungry and there being nothing in the house to satiate my hunger. Which is why I tend to over-buy when I can so I can be sure there is something to eat in the freezer. But I also over-buy snack foods which are utterly unnecessary but there is a thought process that goes through my head of ‘what if we don’t have enough’. Of course, in those circumstances we end up having too much.
Which leads me to my next problem. If there is food in the cupboard such as crisps or biscuits or something, I will fixate on it. I know it’s there and it’s as though it’s calling to me. I can’t resist and even if I’m not hungry, I will eat some of it. I can stop, I don’t eat a whole family-sized chocolate bar on my own for example. But I can’t stop myself from starting. Because in some weird way it provides me with comfort. It gives me the cuddle I think I am missing. The hug that I need sometimes. I’m not always like this. We have hot cross buns in the cupboard that have been there far too long. I am not currently remotely inclined to reach for them. I went out for breakfast this morning and chose the healthy option rather than something ‘comforting’ (I thoroughly enjoyed what I had). But there are other times when this is not the case, such as when my nervous system is in complete meltdown.
I think it is recognising what your triggers are and managing them which is the secret to helping with the food as comfort issue. When I am being triggered, if there is food around I cannot deny myself whilst hating myself for it at the same time. And all those good intentions of eating slowly, recognising when I’m full, being mindful as I eat go completely out of the window and I just eat until I am bloated and full and hideously uncomfortable. It’s so easy to know you shouldn’t do it, but when your triggers are subtle it isn’t always easy to recognise that’s what is happening at first.
When my nervous system is in full-on meltdown, it also doesn’t help to remind myself that I’m not helping my health. In that moment, my health is not a motivating factor to make me stop. There is nothing that can help me to stop. So, it’s about not letting my nervous system get to meltdown stage. To trying to control my stress levels and my moods. I know the best way for me to do that is by going running, but I am frankly too big to do that right now and my joints wouldn’t be able to cope. So, it’s walking which I have been threatening to do for a while and haven’t.
The other thing is living unconsciously. It’s cramming everything into the day – work, side hustle, kids, family – so at the end of it there’s nothing left for me. There’s not time nor energy to do what I know I should be doing. And should is never a motivator either. It’s wanting to do it enough that a sacrifice has to be made within the day to find the time to do it. For me, the best time for that is first thing in the morning. Which means getting up ridiculously early to fit it in. I do love to exercise first thing in the morning, though. It’s refreshing. With the walk, the theory is that I will be helping my mental health – and walking does do that for me. It’s grabbing that time for me and really doing it. Plus the strength training I will be doing with my friend.
Exercise can’t just be about losing weight anymore than eating healthily can be. It has to be about your mental health, your physical health and your self-esteem. So, exercising and eating healthily have to be your life. Your routine. Not something to do to get to a certain size because…what then? So, it has to be something sustainable. Done in a way you can live with long-term. And recognising when you are being triggered and acting accordingly.
Living consciously and being aware of you are key to losing weight. Knowing what is causing you to eat psychologically and getting help with it if required. Because your mental and physical health rely upon it. We have been given this vessel to live our life in so our souls can learn. It needs to be treasured, honoured and loved. Because you and your body are more than worth it.
Louisa Simpson 