I am writing a daily blog about the homeless situation I am in with my family. I am writing it to try and sort out my emotions about the situation and take from the position the lessons that are bound to be there.
I read that an MP who had stood down from his seat because of reports of drug taking and accusations of sexual misconduct has unfortunately been found dead. I don’t know the circumstances but what struck me of his story was that because of the accusations against him, which proved to be unfounded, he lost everything. His political career, his marriage, his home, everything. To the point where at one point he was sleeping in his car in a supermarket car park. When he died, however, he was living in a beautiful apartment and driving a £130,000 Porsche car. Quite the turnaround apparently caused by an idea he had for a business (I can’t remember the details of this) for which he found a benefactor. At the point of his death, his business was doing well.
It resonated with me for obvious reasons. While, luckily, we are not sleeping in our car at the moment we are only a hair’s breadth away from it, in reality. And reading this article made me think…if he can do that, why can’t I? Why can’t I make my books work in the world? What is holding me back from that? In short, it’s self-belief. So, I need to get past that and get awareness raised of my trilogy. It has also been suggested to me to make videos about my journey for TikTok and YouTube which might be able to be monetised at some point. The question is…what part of my journey do I want to record on video?
It has also occurred to me today that I have created this scenario – I have focused so much on what I have been worried about (no money, huge debt, no home) that they have come to fruition because I have focused on them almost to the exclusion of all else. That while I have tried to be all upbeat about life, I have actually privately fixated on the negative. Quite simply, that has to stop. In order to stop, though, I have to fixate on what it is I do want. And therein lies the rub.
Like many people, when I ask myself ‘what do I really want’ I come to a bit of a screeching halt. I have a vague idea such as financial freedom, but what does this mean in reality? Whereas I could visualise being homeless (specifically living at my parent’s house), I need something more tangible than ‘financially free’ to visualise that and bring it about.
I read a while ago about a book called ‘The Shack’ which was a self-published piece of work which has sold 10 million copies and the author now having a publishing deal, writing many more books since. ‘The Shack’ was made into a film and is a story, essentially, about the Holy Trinity with a grieving father receiving a note, ostensibly from God, to visit a shack. At which point he meets, and has several conversations with, representatives from the Holy Trinity who help him overcome his grief. It was controversial amongst religious groups (for example, God was personified as an African-American woman), but it was phenomenally successful especially given it was self-published and it was very much a word-of-mouth phenomenon.
I can’t comprehend what selling 10 million copies of one book would be like, but I definitely want to find out. 10 million copies of each book, actually. That is definitely something I want to experience. And for them to be turned into movies would be exceptional. When you are self-published, obviously you get to keep a larger percentage of the income so sales at that level would give us a phenomenal financial freedom. Right now, 1,000 sales would be marvellous (I sold a book yesterday). 10,000 would be lovely, 100,000 would be brilliant, 1million would be extraordinary. Having that consistent income stream from my initial three books is something I am certainly happy to focus on.
The income would help me to pare down debts and get us settled somewhere we could be comfortable in the first instance before gradually levelling up as the income continues to grow. Our son could go back to his school. We could buy a reliable car each and make those incremental shifts that help us. We could save, we could invest. We could move forward in a sustainable way, creating a safety net nest egg and further passive income in the process.
I want to keep on writing. At the moment, inspiration is thin on the ground as I try to process this situation. Though maybe this situation is inspiration in and of itself. I don’t know at the moment…for it to be successful it needs to be a tale of inspiration and hope which I feel in short supply of. Then again, perhaps that is enough in and of itself for me to focus on – finding the inspiration and hope amongst the rubble.
A very spiritual friend of mine said to me a little while ago that I was like Cersei in Game of Thrones when she does the walk of shame. That this is a humbling experience where literally everything is stripped from me before I arise again. Naturally, I am not going to blow up lots of people in the Great Sept! I don’t have any revenge to take on anyone, but I do have the concept of proving people wrong. Perhaps a revenge in itself, but I want to prove all those who have doubted me that they were wrong to do so. That’s something to focus on as well.
I guess there is a lot to take from this, a lot I haven’t thought about before. Ideas for me to focus upon to realise what it is I really want – financial freedom. The notion of those who have doubted me looking at me in shock as I pull off huge success. The idea of a constant flow of income into my bank account, imagining what it would feel like to have constant alerts on my phone of incoming money rather than outgoing funds. And the knowledge that this experience of mine, and my recording of it here and potentially via video, is helpful to other people. Either as a cautionary tale or as a beacon of hope of what can happen if you direct your focus in the right way. That is all starting to sound like a plan.
And I have written all this and not mentioned the wonderful afternoon we had as a family yesterday at the seafront of Felixstowe with my husband admitting we should have been doing more of this more often…and that from now on, we will be. See? Lessons being learned from the adversity, truly valuable lessons at that.
And now I know that I will soar.
Louisa Simpson 