We live in an age where we want more. More ‘things’. We accumulate ‘stuff’ at an alarming rate and dispose of it at an equally alarming rate. And then we want more. And more. In the process, we are losing sight of what really matters. Ourselves and who we truly are.
So, how does Socrates’ musings apply? Well, he said ‘he who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have’. Which says to me – are we increasingly driven by consumerism not just because of the marketing we are being constantly bombarded with but also because, deep down, we are not content? That we feel something is missing from our lives and seek to fill that hole by accumulating ‘stuff’?
As readers of my blogs will know, I got rid of a lot of ‘stuff’ last September when we left our house with nowhere else to go. Was it cathartic? Yes, to some extent. But it did beg the question in me for a while – who was I without all the ‘stuff’ around me? And in the process of finding who I am, I am increasingly less inclined to bring more ‘stuff’ to me. I am finding that I am enough, that the interests and thought processes I am pursuing currently are satisfying me more than any consumerism could. I don’t go shopping anymore, the idea doesn’t even occur to me now. I have what I need and when I need something in addition, I get it. But I don’t compulsively shop to fill the gap inside me as I used to. Now, I identify the gap and seek to fill it in myself. I am more self-aware, more emotionally intelligent, and have more tools at my disposal to deal with the gaps inside me that pop up. Not because I don’t have lots of belongings around me, but because I have gone inside myself and found out who I am.
Previously, I dulled that inclination to go inside by buying things. Distracting myself with online shopping – there must have been something I wanted. I didn’t need it, but I wanted it. Or so I thought. What I was really doing was denying who I was and placing myself into false circumstances in order to project an image that I thought was more palatable to society. Not to me, I wasn’t happy necessarily inside that image, but it was one that made me more ‘acceptable’ to others. Successful, financially apparently doing well, family unit, lovely home, nice car…all the things we are told we should want. But deep inside, I was hollow and I tried to plug that with ‘stuff’ because it shut things down for a little while. But those things that I had already didn’t fill the gap and more and more things equally didn’t do so. It wasn’t until I began to know myself that the clamour to buy started to abate.
Of course it helped that it all happened at the same time as not having the money to buy, buy, buy anymore occurred!!
I look at people who surround themselves with material things, and while I appreciate beautiful things and like to have some of them around me this constant drive to spend money that some people have is hiding something. They are hiding something from themselves. That, basically, they are unhappy or at least are not content. And to paraphrase Socrates, if you’re wanting to constantly add to your home or your wardrobe or your garage or whatever, you are not going to feel any more satisfied with the new stuff than you are with what you already have. Because fundamentally, inside, you are not feeling complete.
This quote also made me think about how when some people come into financial windfalls they burn through the money quickly. I was guilty of doing this as well. I wasn’t appreciating what I already had, I thought that if I had more then I would be happy. I would feel better. Which of course, I didn’t as I found out when I got that more. It didn’t make me feel any better, I just had more money to burn through to attempt to plug that gap. It’s one of the reasons why people who win the lottery, for example, burn their way through the money to the point where within 5 years they are broke again. Yes, there are other reasons but until you are happy in where you are – wherever that is, however awful on the surface that is – you will not be happy when you’ve got what it is you think you want.
The simple lesson of this is, if you aren’t happy where you are find the reason for that. Find out why you are wanting more, why you aren’t happy with what you already have. What is the gap you are trying to fill? And then you will appreciate what you do have…and likely find that you will bring that more to you. And, if appreciated it will stick with you too.
Louisa Simpson 