I have joined a group on Facebook for women with ADHD, led by…a woman with ADHD. It’s a great group where women come together to offer help and advice to each other with the leader of the group initiating the conversations with daily prompts and the like. Today’s has just been so immensely helpful.
I started off with my morning walk which I am loving, it really does set me up for the day. If I wake up feeling a bit meh, it sorts me out completely. I always get back feeling positive, recharged and much more ready for the day. But before I left, I noticed on this group that the leader had posted about her To Do list which she insinuated was ridiculously long and she needed to focus on what was important for the day. She asked what was on other people’s To Do lists. Now I don’t tend to make To Do lists because, for me, they set me up to fail it feels like. It’s like when I time block in my diary, it’s like my brain says ‘let’s see how we can completely go against this’. They seem, for me, like the most contrary things. But in the spirit of this FB post, I decided to think about my To Do list for the day…and it ended up growing and growing which I said in my reply. Then I went for my walk.
When I returned, the leader had replied asking me what was really important on that list. And it made me think. I knew what was important (writing my blog, editing my book, doing some food shopping) and that the rest was entirely superfluous. But that the biggest problem for me would be procrastination. It is always my biggest problem. And yet, I have (or will have when I press ‘publish’) achieved everything on that priority list. This is where accountability comes in for me. I felt accountable to the leader of the FB group, as though I had to do everything on my list because I said I would. That is such a huge part of my personality, it always has been. If I hadn’t had that today, at least one of the priorities on my list would not have happened.
I also thought in the middle of the night Sunday night that perhaps menopause has exacerbated my ADHD. I know I changed with the menopause. A lot. I used to be much better at masking than I am now and the only thing that is different about me is the menopause. As luck would have it, another woman on another group I’m in on Facebook had the same thought process as me and on Monday morning she posted the exact question. She asked if ADHD was made worse by menopause because, for her, the wheels were falling off her life which I can totally relate to. The overwhelming response was that, yes. ADHD is exacerbated by menopause, that our ability to mask significantly reduces. It made me wonder – why and is there anything I can do about it? Almost certainly, hormones are the answer at some level, what the true impact is I couldn’t say. But it did make me think about things like exercise and diet which do contribute to both a more difficult menopause and ADHD as I have read elsewhere.
All in all, it’s been a couple of days considering what ADHD means to me in all sorts of ways and how I can manage it in my life. I know it makes me much more creative, I know it makes me think innovatively, I know it makes me who I am and I like who I am. But there are aspects of it that, for me, I would like to manage a little bit better. So, on my To Do list for the weekend will be research into diet and ADHD.
Finally, I heard about another opportunity to work with a friend on her business idea that I (according to her) planted in her mind. She’s sent me some details over and it’s interesting and exciting…and something I have tried before but didn’t get quite right. I’ve started to think my previous attempts were about timing and what was the right thing for me then. Perhaps now is that right time.
Because I am soaring. I am thriving. I am successful. And I am very grateful for who I am.
Louisa Simpson 