I am writing a daily blog about my family and I being homeless to process my emotions about it and to take the learnings from the situation. And if I help someone along the way, I will be very happy.
Yesterday, one of the friends I wrote about said to me how he had done everything society demanded. He’d gone to school, studied as best he could given he had then un-diagnosed dyslexia, got a job which he had secured before he had finished school, worked really hard and gotten promotions then started his own business. He had taken out the mortgage, got married, had a child…followed all society’s ‘rules’. And his question yesterday was – ‘where has it got me?’. It was a soul-deep question and it was heartbreaking to hear. But I can completely empathise with him.
I did the same. I went to school, studied hard, went to work and university, worked my way up the corporate ladder, got the mortgage, the wedding and the child. I did everything I was ‘supposed’ to do even if some of it didn’t feel like it ‘fit’ me properly. The main thing I would say that didn’t fit was the mortgage and the corporate life. The former made me feel trapped, and I was way too idealistic for the latter. I didn’t feel comfortable in school, either. In fact, in a separate conversation yesterday I realised that the only time I felt comfortable in education was in higher education. Otherwise, and despite achieving at school in terms of exams passed, I didn’t feel as though I fit. As I have said in previous blogs, I don’t think the education system is fit for purpose. It has a one-size fits all approach and is a Victorian system in the 21st century. It is failing children and has done for a very long time. But that’s for another day.
One of the things I have been realising, and increasingly since being homeless, is that following society’s ‘norms’ doesn’t necessarily mean that you are guaranteed a good life. And I am increasingly wondering who wrote these ‘norms’ and who do they benefit? I’ve written before about seeing beyond the veil, and I am increasingly doing so. I am increasingly questioning the ‘rules’ and how we ‘should’ behave. Who said? And I am increasingly wondering if the ‘crackpots’ aren’t actually the ones who’ve got it right. I mean, who says they are ‘crackpots’? Just because they don’t ‘conform’. We aren’t meant to conform. We are meant to be able to live our lives according to how we feel is appropriate for us. In the context of us being connected to each other and part of a community that we should always seek to serve.
We have a path to follow, all of us do. And part of that path is about recognising our connection to everything, especially nature. It is about love and respect. But it is also about our path, our soul contract. And when we follow ego-based societal ‘norms’, we move away from our soul contract very often. Even if our purpose is about following societal norms, if we know that we can do so in the full and certain knowledge it is to learn lessons from it then we should do so. But if that is not our purpose, then we should be allowed to follow what is without judgement or censure.
Because otherwise we end up asking the question my friend did yesterday – ‘I did everything I was supposed to do and it’s got me nowhere’. Like me, his view now is to follow his own path and not the one prescribed for him by what ‘society’ feels is acceptable. To listen to what feels right, to stick to his guns in that, and move forward in a way that is congruent for him.
I couldn’t agree with him more.
Because we are soaring. We are thriving. We are successful. And we are very grateful for all the lessons life brings to us.
Louisa Simpson 