I am writing a daily blog about my family and I being homeless in an attempt to work through my emotions about the situation and to take the lessons from it. And if I help someone along the way, that will make me very happy.
I slept well last night. I did wake up in the middle of the night as usual, but I used the trick I used the night before when I woke up of asking God/Source/Universe to help me get back to sleep and remain asleep…and it worked. Life feels infinitely better when you have had a good sleep, you have food in your belly and you spent the evening watching a film as a family. I certainly feel so much more positive and centred.
I believe in manifesting as you can probably tell from the way I write and the things I say. I tried to manifest a positive solution when I was living in our old house but so many times what I was doing was trying to control the outcome. I wasn’t trying to manifest a solution, I was trying to bring about an exact situation whether that be winning the lottery or some other way of bringing the necessary money to me. And I would desperately visualise the outcome I wanted constantly, worrying that I was doing it ‘wrong’ when a negative thought entered my head. What was always missing, though, was the trust that what I was wanting would materialise. I was trying to manifest from fear, from desperation, and in a highly controlling way. I didn’t trust that the universe would deliver something better than, say, the Euromillions jackpot if I released and surrendered. I couldn’t imaging what that alternative solution could be, and didn’t believe there could be one. And so, nothing happened other than the worst case scenario that I dreaded. When you’re manifesting from a place of fear and dread I now realise, what you bring to you is what you fear and dread because actually, that is what you are focused on at a subconscious level.
I have truly learned that lesson now because I have surrendered to the universe, I have just said so many times now ‘the universe will deliver’ and when I do think that way, it truly does deliver. Perhaps not in the way I expect it to, but in a way that is helpful to me in that moment. I’m learning how to this and do this properly which is why, as a friend said to me yesterday, I am being given stepping stones with something incrementally better being given each time. I am not putting conditions on it, I am not trying to control the outcome I am just letting it happen.
Previously, I would put a manifestation out into the universe just before going to sleep, asking for an answer or a suggested solution and would wake up feeling upset and let down when it hadn’t happened. But things work in mysterious ways, they work in their own way. I did put a question out to the universe before going to sleep last night but the difference is I now know things will happen in the right time, and I am happy to wait for that right time. I don’t have the anxiety, the worry and the concerns about what’s going to happen. I simply have the knowing that it is all going to work out just fine even though on the face of things, my situation is still pretty dire in may respects. But it’s about seeing beyond that 3D reality, seeing beyond the five senses. It’s about taking the leap of faith. I know that there is a change coming around the corner, that there is a shift. I don’t know what it looks like, I don’t know how it’s going to happen, I just know that it will. As I’ve said before, I can’t get worried about it anymore because I know there is no need – I tend to know when to worry and when not to.
I have also started to plan out my next book, to outline what its fundamental message is and then what it can look like. I do this at a strategic level, the small details are in the writing itself which can take me on all sorts of different journeys. So, I am moving forward with my writing away from the trilogy that has dominated the last 30 months of my life. And in so doing I have realised that it really is all about forward momentum, this thing we call life. Letting go of the past, focusing on the now and doing so with that forward momentum. For many reasons I am finally feeling excited about the future because it’s going to be fantastic.
Because I am soaring. I am thriving. I am successful. I am grateful.
Louisa Simpson 