I am writing a daily blog about my family and I being homeless as a way of processing my emotions around this, and to take the lessons from it. It this helps someone along the way, that would make me very happy.
I am tired again today because I didn’t sleep very well again last night. I was awake from 12 until 4am (I went to sleep at around 10.30), and woke up at 8am. So, not much sleep and I feel slightly dazed and confused today. I didn’t have the usual worries and concerns whirring round in my head, I just couldn’t sleep for some reason. It’s just happening pretty much every night and it’s getting too much. I need to figure out a way of falling asleep and staying asleep. It probably doesn’t help that we’re in a double bed when we are used to a superking bed. I feel every move my husband makes, he turns and pretty much lies on top of me and I’m get so hot it’s unbearable.
We didn’t have dinner last night. Luckily, some friends shared their takeaway with my son so he was covered, but my husband and I didn’t have anything because I had no money to buy anything and he was reluctant to spend money on anything. It was a real low moment for me. I was hungry, we had no food and my husband was reluctant to part with any money for me to get some. It did kind of hit home to me the place we were in. I didn’t get into my usual zone about the universe providing, I just felt fed up, frankly.
Today, I am going to focus on the prospect of the universe delivering for me. Just surrendering to it again rather than feeling fed up and down as I did last night which is resisting the situation. Meaning it will persist. And I’m not prepared for it to persist anymore. Not having dinner feels like rock bottom, it is something I have imagined happening but until last night it hadn’t, I had always found a solution. I just ran out of options last night except relying on the universe to provide. I was in my egoic mind rather than aligned with my higher self. Another lesson learned.
I don’t know what we are going to do for dinner tonight, I just know I am going to have one. I am relying on the universe to provide in some way so we can eat. It’s a powerful new moon tomorrow night, alongside a partial solar eclipse bringing with it all the changes that I have been manifesting and asking for. My luck is going to change from now on.
Because I am soaring. I am thriving. I am successful. I am grateful.
Louisa Simpson 