I have done two meditations this morning because I awoke at 4:24 am and didn’t just want to lie in bed trying to get back to sleep. Unusually, I didn’t feel like reading either. Instead, I decided to do a guided meditation. The results were such that I then decided to do another meditation three hours later, to probe the messages further.
One of the things that became really apparent during both the meditations was this constantly whispered phrase ‘look behind the veil’. Now, I know what that means for me – it means looking beyond our 3D ‘reality’ and seeing what it really all means. As I have said on here before, it’s looking beyond the matrix. I can’t remember who said it now, but the saying ‘the film The Matrix isn’t a movie, it’s a documentary’ was true. What we see is a programme though not a programme made by the men in black suits who took over the world (I’m rusty on the fundamentals of the film, and I really don’t especially like the follow-ups), but a programme made by our minds. There isn’t an alternative reality where we are living beneath the earth fighting an almost unknown entity (a bit like The Entity in the last two Mission: Impossible films), no it is just a mirror. That is what the 3D is, our experience of it. A mirror. And it is a mirror to our subconscious minds. Once we realise and understand that, we can start working to shift our subconscious into something that mirrors a ‘reality’ that we would ideally like to see.
All of the trials and tribulations in our lives are brought on by that mirror. All of them. Not necessarily the events themselves, we can be subject to the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ as Shakespeare put it. But in how we react to those events, how we harbour emotions and thoughts and perceptions about them, that is what forms the mirror we hold up to the world. I know how I have held onto events in my childhood that have formed the foundations of the mirror I have held up to the world. That people are not to be trusted, not feeling worthy or lovable, and my whole view and mindset around money were all formed from the age of 10 and have shaped my ‘reality’ ever since. Events that have happened since then, which have often reinforced that mirror, have been shaped by my perception of the world.
Take relationships for example, I went through years of a repetitive cycle where I would enter relationships with people who could, inadvertently, reinforce my views of myself. I would always say it was them who wouldn’t commit to me, but the reality is I was the ultimate commitment-phobe. I was perfectly bringing to me situations where I couldn’t trust others, where I could feel unlovable, and often where there was an issue around money. If I ever met someone who didn’t bring up those issues for me, they were out of the door quicker than they could blink. I simply couldn’t cope with that brand of positivity and commitment. Naturally, I didn’t see it that way, I had a whole library of excuses lined up for the reasons why it wouldn’t work with those people. My behaviour, when I look back on it now, was atrocious and was born from the fact my subconscious was going into freefall – this was not how things were supposed to go. It took me a long time, a cancer diagnosis, therapy and training to be a coach to get my subconscious to the point where it could accept someone like my husband. I actually said to him only yesterday that if I hadn’t had cancer, I wouldn’t be sitting on the sofa with him organising the walk we were going to go on with our son because I wouldn’t have had the head wobble that got me in the right space for a functioning relationship.
What does it mean, though, to see life beyond the veil? This is a familiar topic for me because it’s something I am still trying to work through explaining to myself and making what I am learning easy for others to understand. I feel that it is something I am here to do, help people see beyond the fixed 3D ‘reality’. Something else that I heard whispered to me in my meditations was the question of spirituality and skills such as psychic abilities and the like. Things like connection, connectivity and energy. Things that are often derided as being ‘woo woo’ in the media or beyond belief in some way. We are taught to believe that it’s the ‘wacky’ and ‘out there’ people who believe in psychic abilities, and that science has never proven that any of this is actually real. In my meditation this morning I began to wonder – what if it is actually the other way round? What if psychic abilities, spirituality, connection, energy, the power of the universe, astrology, is actually the truth and the 3D reality that is shoved down our throats is the illusion? Why is it that some of the findings from quantum physics are roundly denied by physicists? It’s because it doesn’t match the ‘reality’ that it suits some people to be the one that is accepted.
For some people, it is simply too scary to have the status quo questioned. To have their beliefs challenged and for there to be something ‘other’, something ‘unknown’ being an integral part of us. Something we cannot see. That doesn’t make it not exist, it just shuts them off to it and to the potential it can create in our lives. Because very often, those people stick rigorously to a 9-5 life that they hate rather than open themselves up to the possibility that there is something else. My step-father is very much like this, and my mother has become the same. If you’re not following societal norms (as they decree them to be) then you are wrong. It’s as simple as that. They are not prepared to consider that there might be an alternative because anything different is, to them, simply wrong. Conformity is the name of the game and if you divert from that, then their default is to subtly bully you back into the ‘right’ way of thinking. It’s all based in fear. My step-father hates the job he has been doing for over 40 years with a passion, but he continues to do it because the prospect of doing anything different is more painful in the fear it elicits than the pain of doing something that drives him mad. Both of them are terrified of the unknown and have grown more so as they have gotten older.
This isn’t about judging their life choices. At the end of the day, they are exactly that – their choices. I do argue (often) that they are their own choices and to leave it at that. Not try to foist them onto others. And that applies equally to me too, not to try and foist my views onto others. It’s about setting out that there are other choices, different ways of thinking that are equally valid. That we can choose which way we wish to think but, crucially, not judge others if that thinking is different. And that if we want to change the way we view our reality, that’s fine. We are allowed to do that without fear of judgement or censure. If we want to find a better way of living, one that is more in tune with our Higher Selves – that recognise we have a Higher Self – that is absolutely fine. No one will ridicule you for it.
And it has been through these meditations and some thought processes I have been going through recently that has led me to decide to pick up my coaching again. To bring it together with my writing and take forward the spiritual, intuitive coaching that is innate within me. To guide and support people through their own spiritual journey, or deciding how they want to shift their lives and take them forward in whatever way feels best for them. To helping businesses see their potential and helping them realise their growth. A client of mine has called me the ‘alchemist’ in terms of coaching because I take something, tweak how people might see it and help them turn it into something that is pure gold for them. It also happily ties in as being something I can do remotely as a digital nomad.
All signs are pointing towards those future travel plans as I make my way out of the flames into the brand new phoenix.
Louisa Simpson 