I do not, and never have, practiced any kind of religion. That does not, though, mean I have no faith.
I have always, even in childhood, described myself as spiritual and not religious. I have always had a sense that there is ‘something’ greater than us, I have just never believed that it was a man in a robe with a flowing white beard sitting on a throne in heaven as per the Christian tradition. I live in a country where the majority of people are Protestant Christians, and I went to a primary school where we were expected to attend church for the significant Christian events in the calendar. I never felt a sense of God in church, I always felt that they smelled musty, they were cold, and there was a sense (for me) almost of loneliness in a church. Every morning we had to stand in the school hall and listen to extracts from Scripture, sing hymns, and recite the Lord’s Prayer all without ever having the words really explained to us. We were just meant to accept what was said, absorb it unquestioningly. Which has never been my way.
I have never voluntarily attended a church service other than the christening of my son. I was christened in a spiritualist church. I have, however, spent a huge amount of time in nature which is where, I think, you find the presence of that ‘something’ greater than us. The creator of all things, the source of all creation. Because, for me, there very definitely is something. I have written before how I experienced that something in a forest during my cancer journey, felt the love from the creator/source/God/universe whatever you want to call it. This stemmed from my grandmother’s belief that, if you want to find God, then you do so in a garden and not in a man-made building. I can appreciate those man-made buildings. I love the architecture of a cathedral, I think they are the most stunning buildings and I am in awe of the sheer talent and ingenuity that brought them into existence. The perseverance it took hundreds of years ago to begin work on building something you would likely never see completed. But I have the same sense of that about castles and stately homes. I love architecture, especially architecture that inspires in its very creation the way the pyramids do, the cathedrals, the Great Wall of China. To me, they represent the ingenuity and talent of man which to some is God-given, to me is fulfilling a soul’s purpose.
My writing very definitely echoes my view about religion. In fact, it is entirely what the Book of Sarah trilogy is about. The fact that religion is a man-made creation and does not reflect the reality of what the creator/source/God/universe is about. That the religious texts we read have been interpreted and manipulated to suit the workings of the religions of the world to create a duality which keeps ordinary people stuck in a perpetual loop of abrogating responsibility for their lives to something external, therefore never being truly able to be free to be who they are. That in taking a spiritual approach, in knowing you have an eternal soul that is connected to the universe, that is the creator/source/God/universe inside you and is connected to everything else in the universe, you can achieve everything you desire.
My three central characters, and two secondary characters, are eternal souls assuming human form throughout lifetimes to bring balance to the universe. They are spiritual, they eschew religion on the basis that it isn’t what life on this planet is really about, though the basis of all religions are the same and all stem from spirituality. It’s about connection, it’s about community, it’s about love, and it’s about nature. It is about living a soul-led life and understanding that we are not our minds which are hard-wired towards negativity because, at its most fundamental, our mind is programmed to keep us alive, to protect us which makes it inherently negative. If we are constantly looking for danger, we are in a constant state of fear which is a feeling our spirits do not experience. They experience only love. To my characters, fear is a consequence of the way in which religion is preached, with one of them actively encouraging this as he is the dark to their light.
For me personally, the way in which religion is told to us is about keeping us in check, and in a perpetual state of fear. In the Old Testament, we have a vengeful god who is, frankly, more of an example of the ego than anything else. A god who is prepared to sacrifice anything in the pursuit of monotheism. We are told we must behave in a certain way or risk the wrath of the deity, some of the ways are ones we should aspire to anyone (not murdering anyone), but many of them now interpreted to suit ways certain sections of society want us to live in the 21st century. It’s used to command and control, and I struggle to get behind that. I also struggle to get behind the wealth, power and frankly greed, at the upper echelons of religion. The land the Church of England holds, for example, could help end homelessness and poverty but they would rather preach about it than do something about it. Why do the Archbishops of Canterbury and York, for example, have to live in palaces? Jesus didn’t we are told. It’s that sort of thing I struggle with.
Generally in life I am the kind of person who does not react well when I am told I am to behave in a certain way, when I am told that I should fit in a certain box. I feel that religion is like a tribe, and you are supposed to fit in, in a certain way. Spirituality, for me, doesn’t do that. It enables you to have complete freedom of expression, to live through your soul and as the soul is pure, is love, and is fundamentally good, you can only benefit society as a consequence. Which is benefitting the collective including nature. How you choose to do that is entirely up to you, and there is no wrath from a deity to fear.
Religion has created a negative side as well, in the Christian religion it is the devil, to keep us all in check. And has created the parameters around which we are being ‘influenced’ by the devil, what is good and evil depending on an interpretation of the texts they have chosen to adopt. In reality, the devil is simply something else to abrogate responsibility to: ‘I didn’t do it, the devil made me’ when in spirituality, the devil is you, it’s in your egoic mind. Spirituality is about taking personal responsibility for your actions and owning them, the good and the bad. Yes, you can create the life of your dreams, be whoever it is you want to be. But the price is taking personal responsibility for that, accepting that the buck does stop with you.
I am not religious. I have never been, nor am I ever likely to be. But, I am deeply spiritual. I have a strong and unshakeable faith that there is something greater than me, but which I am a part of and which is a part of me. There is no separation in spirituality and it is that, I think, from which I draw most comfort.
Louisa Simpson 