I would love to say that I jump out of bed every morning, fresh as a daisy ready to embrace the new day with gusto. But I love my bed and I love being cosy in it, so it’s a wrench to leave it.
The first hour depends on what I am doing that day, if I have to leave the house or if I am working from home. So, if I am leaving the house then the alarm goes off at 5.30am so I can spend 30 minutes deliberately in Theta state, reflecting on what my Higher Self is saying and/or recollecting any dreams I may have. Taking any downloads or messages that may come through. I am also checking in with myself, with my body and with my mind and assessing if I’m playing any learned behaviours that are unhelpful. I used to wake up with an intense anxiety for a number of reasons, a fear for the day or a dread of the day. When I realised that I was doing this, until that point it was entirely subconscious, I tried to work through it and sometimes toxic positivity would creep in. But I realised that I was actually choosing to be in fear and anxiety because I was subconsciously future projecting around the fears and anxieties my subconscious was creating based on past issues. So, I decided to choose differently. To be in the moment and realise that in that very moment, I had everything I needed and I was at peace while doing deep breathing exercises. And I did the same in the next moment and the next until I slowly started to overturn those learned behaviours. Checking in with my thoughts, my feelings and my responses is a way of honouring the mind/body/soul connection and I have found it has helped me start to shift my perceptions about my life. And start to think more constructively about how I can move forward in certain areas – knowing what is holding me back, finding solutions to that, and knowing what actions I can take immediately to move forward. Those incremental steps.
Usually I am already in Theta state having started the waking process at about 5am. It’s my favourite part of the morning, the time when I am in that halfway between sleep and awake, I’m still in bed and feeling cosy and I don’t have to move just yet. I get out of bed at about 6am, and go downstairs. By now our dog will have realised that I am awake (he is a real Mummy’s Boy) and is usually hitting me around the head with my own slipper to wake me up fully and get me up!!
So, I go downstairs and let the dog out to do his business while I put the kettle on for my first coffee of the day. I know it’s psychological but I feel I can’t completely get myself into gear until I’ve had that first shot of caffeine. While the kettle is boiling, I let the dog back in and while he’s chowing down on his breakfast I am getting my food ready for the day. It’s my alone time for the day and so I treasure it. If I have the time, I will squeeze in a 10 minute meditation. I sit in the study, ground myself and go internally. It actually helps to wake me up and I feel much more energised afterward so I do try to make sure it happens.
Usually by now my husband will have got out of bed, and he will be downstairs wandering around and generally getting under my feet if I’m honest! He’s usually in a bit of a sleepy daze as we all often are first thing in the morning. He isn’t spiritual in the same way as I am, but he fully supports my spirituality and always leaves me alone if he comes across me meditating. I like to think that the dog is also meditating because usually he nods off while I’m going into myself, and doesn’t bother me. Which is unusual because he does tend to love to have a lot of fuss on the mornings I am out at work as he knows he will be on his own for a little while. Once all the coffee is made, the food is prepped for the day, I go back upstairs and wake up our pre-teen son. Never an easy task!
By now it is about 6.30am, and the three of us are getting ready for our day and our son is having his breakfast. I think whether I like it or not, and often it’s a not, I pick up the chores around the house first thing in the morning. I get our son sorted, I make the bed, I tidy up while my husband sees to himself. It’s not a complaint because clearly it is completely within my power to deal with it, but I’m now in such a routine I just get on with it. There isn’t the time to do it any other way, really. But I think this is typical for women, we take on all the chores in the house and just get on with them so they get done. There is no time for a discussion about the division of duties first thing in the morning, and in any case our son always turns to me first for anything he needs. If I’m not too distracted, I will point out that his father is in the room and equally capable of finding his trainers or school shoes or something he is missing. My husband is a lot less tolerant of our son’s indolent approach to getting ready in the morning which is probably why he turns to me first rather than his father!
In order to keep us on track, we have a notice board attached to our fridge which details where we are on the day of the week and what we are having for dinner that night. The latter is more for me to remember if anything needs taking out of the freezer to defrost during the day for cooking later…again with the female house roles. I remember my Mum doing this when I was younger. When I was 10 my father left us, but before then it was all down to my Mum to get things ready and done in the morning as well as run her own business during the day. He would come home as a policeman with some of his friends during a night shift and she would get up and cook them bacon and eggs. Then go back to being a businesswoman and mother. After he left, my Mum and I did everything together. I helped out around the house and we shared the chores so that our lives could have some semblance of stability.
If I am not working from home, I get up later at around 6.30am though I will have had my 30 minute Theta time. I still help to get my son ready for the day while my husband gets himself ready, and I get up to make the bed and get myself dressed though I don’t have to as I am at home for the day. But after a few weeks of spending the home days in my PJs for most of the day and the bed unmade, I decided it was time to get myself sorted. I subscribe to the fact that an organised bed equals an organised mind, I think it was instilled in me at childhood but I can’t stand getting into an unmade bed. And I felt I wasn’t thinking properly still in my pyjamas so I started to get myself dressed ‘properly’ as soon as I got up even if I didn’t need to leave the house that day. As much of my home working is writing, it is necessary for me to be in the right mindset. I have scrapped 60 pages of writing on my first book because I took the wrong turn. I’m not saying that was because I was wearing my pyjamas whilst writing, but mindset while writing is crucial for me. And other writers too I imagine. It’s only once I am dressed and ready for the day that I go downstairs and have my first coffee, and when my husband and son have left I meditate. It sets me up for the day.
I know I am busy in the first hour of my day, I am so used to it now it happens on auto-pilot. Would I prefer it to be different? In many ways no, frankly. I find that if I think I have lots of time, that time disappears in the blink of an eye and I end up rushing around with my hair on fire trying to get ready in time. Whereas if I just get on with it, get myself into gear it’s a pleasant surprise if I have some time to just be before I have to leave the house or get on with my work. When that happens, I will do some doom scrolling I’m afraid on social media! Absolutely nothing productive except catching up on the notifications that have come in overnight, usually nothing particularly personal or important.
I used to spend the first 40 minutes of my morning running three times a week until I got injured after a fall. Then the autumn kicked in and I struggled to get out of bed in the dark, chilly mornings. That was a few years ago now, and I’ve decided that part of my plan of action is to get back to that running. I follow a woman on Instagram who has run around 1 mile every day, and I know that in terms of mental health there is nothing better. So, I have a goal now the mornings are starting to get lighter to get back out there from 1st April which does mean getting up earlier to fit everything in…I’ll keep you posted on how I go!
Louisa Simpson 