At the age of 5, I had some very clear ideas about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I have absolutely no idea where these ideas came from, possibly books I had read or something in a cartoon, but I remember being very, very clear.
I had two ambitions at aged 5 – to be an equestrian and an air hostess. Now given at that age I had never been on a horse or an airplane, I really don’t know where these ideas came from. I do remember thinking that (wherever I saw them) air hostesses were impossibly glamorous. Maybe it was an advert on television? We’re talking nearly 50 years ago, so I don’t know how they would have been portrayed but I’m sure it would have been in a glamourous way. Perhaps it was my Sagittarian desire for travel emerging early which made wanting to be an air hostess an ambition of mine. That ability to be free and travel the world still sounds very appealing – I know someone who has recently decided to be an air hostess, albeit for a short haul flight operator, and while we had the conversation that old twinge came back. I have always been one to look for freedom, for doing something different. I’ve not naturally been a traveller, though I am very inclined towards it the older I get, but that sense of freedom and independence as a woman I have always embraced. It’s always been a defining aspect of who I am and I like to think it was strong in me even as a 5 year old. And glamour has always appealed to me. I love looking at fashion images and have a files of them on Pinterest and Instagram for no other reason than I like looking at them. I like to think of the sort of clothes I will put my book characters in, and I like to dress myself in nice things when I can.
I recently read my own natal chart and that sense of luxury, glamour, travel, independence and freedom came out very strongly. Perhaps at age 5 I was very in tune still with the authentic me, because these traits truly are a part of me. I found myself nodding the entire time I was doing the chart. I am also very ambitious and have always been a leader, so I wonder where that air hostess career might have taken me had I pursued it. It would, though, possibly have clashed with my spirituality and creativity especially as my bent is more towards writing. Though, it might have equally provided me with a huge amount of inspiration for writing. I like to think I would have been able to go on the long haul flights to exotic places, that I would have explored them and enjoyed meeting lots of different people. That’s something I have always enjoyed, meeting new people with vastly different experiences to my own. It’s why I wish I had a time machine so I could go back to some of my favourite points in history. I would, though, have been guilty of interrogating people in both instances, at least it would have seemed as though I was simply because I am something of a sponge when it comes to new information.
As for the equestrian…well who knows. Apart from the fact that I had a voracious appetite for all things Black Beauty as a child, reading the books and watching the television show avidly. Maybe that was it, maybe I just wanted to go on adventures with Black Beauty. I know I couldn’t say the word ‘equestrian’, I just had some kind of call to it. Perhaps it was that sense of adventure, again of having freedom and independence. Of going off to new places and experiencing different things. My mother always says that if you want to know where a child’s ambition is going look at what they’re doing for play – mine was reading a lot, so I guess that her theory is correct. Maybe, as with being an air hostess, I had a sense that being an equestrian would provide me with inspiration for stories. I’m not sure I had a desire to compete at horse trials, just ride horses. It was later in life that I did end up doing so, and I can remember the first time I went on a gallop through Epping Forest. I felt as though I was flying for a moment…air hostess link there…and the freedom of that perfect synchronicity between horse and rider was a quite magical experience. Until we stopped off at a local pub (it was a Friday evening in the summer), and I got a tap on the shoulder so I could be told my horse was drinking someone’s pint. That was embarrassing, but highly amusing at the same time. Maybe my desire to be an equestrian was because of how much I love animals. I never wanted to be a vet or anything remotely medical because, frankly, I am squeamish, so perhaps I settled on something like an equestrian so I could be around animals. Who knows.
I know that neither ambition lasted beyond the age of 10 by which time I wanted to be either a policewoman or a barrister. As much as I love animals and glamour I also have a really strong sense of justice. I was put off the police force by serving officers in the end, and I would work for a chambers and a solicitor’s office during school and college holidays which put me off working with criminals. I discovered that justice isn’t always served, and at that age (16-18), I was so idealistic I couldn’t reconcile it. I did apply to University to read law but changed it to history in the end. I only ever regret that decision when I walk through the Inns of Court for any reason – because I love the sense of history and the architecture and would love to work amongst it every day. Anyway, my original 5 year old ambitions did not last.
It is interesting because I think of my son’s 5 year old ambitions. Like me, he has a love of animals and a strong sense of justice so when he found out that the British Army were supporting the fight against poachers in Africa, he decided that an army life was the one for him. And that ambition has still not wavered 7 years later. He has a life mapped out for himself which revolves around University, Sandhurst and entering the Army for a period of time before eventually leaving and starting an acting career and living in Japan when not acting. All his play as a child was focused on soldiering and I have lost count of the amount of soldiers uniforms I have bought for him to dress up in. He has been known throughout his educational career so far for being dedicated to a military career. And it doesn’t appear to be waning. I remember an ex-colleague in the education system telling me that if a child has a serious ambition for their future aged 5 or 6, the chances are that child will achieve it.
Clearly, my air hostess or equestrian ambitions were not as serious. Which is kind of a shame, really…
Louisa Simpson 